Chimps with Wolves

"I can't believe you made me wear this thing..."

Boston.com had an interesting article last week entitled “For some dog owners, when pets are left off the guest list, the party’s over.” Check it out as it’s a really interesting read but the jist of the article is that some dog owners refuse to go to friend’s parties and family functions unless their pet is invited. And at times, it has cost them friendships.

Now, as a dog trainer and dog lover, I can totally understand an owner wanting to bring their dog to the party. For many owners, their dog is their kid. They’re proud of their pup and want to show him off to the world. Hell, I talk about my friend’s dogs all the time and want to bring them everywhere and they’re not even my dogs.

On a more practical note, being able to bring one’s dog to a party also makes life easier for the owner. They don’t have to leave their dog home for a few hours (which is hard for any owner, especially if they work all day during the week) or find someone to watch their dog while they’re off gallivanting and having fun. Dog-friendly events can be a lot less stressful for owners.

But there are some times where bringing a dog isn’t appropriate. If the owner is allergic to dogs, for one. Or if your dog is unruly you shouldn’t be surprised she isn’t on the guest list. Or perhaps the host just wants it to be a human-only party. That’s well within their rights as host. Just like not every party is kid-friendly, not every party is going to be dog-friendly either.

Christmas of last year I was dog sitting for a couple of friend’s while they were off on their honeymoon. My grandmother was throwing the annual Christmas party and I called her to ask if I could bring Zach along for the fun. She was fine with it as long as he didn’t poo in the building. No problem. When I got there I found out one of my young cousins is super allergic to dogs to the point she’s absolutely terrified to see one. Her dog allergy sets off her asthma.

Whoops. An honest mistake, so Zach and I sat in one corner of the room while  my little cousin was across the way. The parents weren’t thrilled with Zach being there, and had I known their kid was allergic, Zach would’ve enjoyed a stuffed Kong in his crate for a few hours. There’s no reason to cry and threaten to cut ties because of it.

In the Boston.com article there’s a great example of why some hosts don’t want dogs over at their parties — such as the dog pooing on the carpet, nobody noticing and then someone stepping in it and tracking it across the house. That’s not exactly a compelling reason for every event to be dog-friendly now is it? Maybe worst part of the anecdote is that it seems like the owner didn’t offer to get the carpet steam cleaned. Common courtesy can go a long way.

Owning a dog may cost you a few weekends worth of fun but it shouldn’t cost your friendship. If you’re sending someone ultimatums because you’re unable to bring your canine friend to a party, you need to take a step back and reevaluate the situation.  Is a few hours away from your dog worse than losing a friend?

I’d like to think not and I’m sure your dog will understand if you have a life outside of him, just as your human partner should understand you have a life outside of her. There should be some level of independence from your dog and vice versa — but that’s a whole post in itself.

Remember that not everyone might find your dog as cute and lovable as you. If they’re not on the guest list, don’t get bent out of shape. We’re supposed to be rational animals of this planet, so let’s be reasonable. If your pup can’t go with you, you have three choices: 1) Leave the dog home alone for a few hours (only if they can handle it) and leave the party early 2) Find a dog sitter (friend or professional) or 3) Don’t go.

But if you don’t go, don’t be a brat about it.

If you really want you’re dog to be at a party with you, throw one yourself. Your house; your rules.